Ditching the Dummy- for Hey Mama

Hi, I’m Aleisha, a family sleep and wellness coach from Sure Sleep. My passion for sleep support stems from my own journey as a parent, which involved significant sleep deprivation and its impact on my mental health. I love supporting mums struggling with their mental well-being because I truly believe that a parent's well-being is their best parenting asset—you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Today, let’s talk about dummies, or pacifiers, or boo-boos, or nanu’s, or whatever they are called in your house.

Are Dummies Okay?

If you’re a new parent or currently pregnant, you might be wondering: Are dummies bad? Absolutely not! As with everything, whether to use a dummy is both child- and parent-dependent. A dummy can be a fantastic tool for soothing a newborn, as sucking is an innate reflex that helps regulate their nervous system. Research literature has even shown that dummy use is a factor that can be protective against the risk of sudden unexplained death in infants also known as SUDI (Alm et al, 2016). However, there are a few considerations to keep in mind.

Things to Consider Before Introducing a Dummy

1. Correct Size: Ensure the dummy is appropriate for your baby’s age and size.

2. Feeding Needs: If your baby is showing signs of hunger, offer a feed before a dummy to avoid interfering with milk supply, especially in the early weeks while establishing breastfeeding. If you are struggling with this reach out to a lactation consultant or your midwife. 

3. Sleep Associations: If your baby relies on a dummy to fall asleep but struggles to replace it themselves when they wake, it can become a parent-assisted sleep association, meaning you’ll need to replace it multiple times during the night. This can be an easy quick way to get them back to sleep for some families. For others, it can become an issue with settling and they may consider ditching the dummy. 

   
   

When & How to Ditch the Dummy

There are two main stages when it’s easier to remove the dummy:

1. Before Seven Months

Before object permanence develops (around seven months), babies don’t fully grasp that something exists outside their sight. This makes it easier to remove the dummy cold turkey. If you choose this method, replace the dummy with another soothing technique, such as rocking, patting, or a sleep-safe comforter. It may be a tough few days but once you are on the other side you won’t be battling the 2, 3, and 4 am dummy runs anymore. 

2. Between Two to Three Years

At this stage, toddlers have a better understanding of what’s happening. The key to success is approaching the transition respectfully:

• Explain the Change: Be honest and tell your child why they won’t have their dummy anymore. We told our son the dentist said 2-year-old teeth need space to grow. 

• Give Them Control: Frame it as their decision while still holding the boundary. Don’t spring it on them, spend time talking about the change before implementing anything.

• Use a Story or Ritual: Some parents like the “dummy fairy” approach, where the dummy is exchanged for a special gift. Others “send” the dummy to new babies who need it. I personally, like making a little dummy story and reading that to them each night as part of the transition. Choose a method that aligns with your child’s personality and emotions.

• Stay Consistent: Once the dummy is gone, remind your child of the new routine and offer alternative comfort methods like a cuddly toy or extra snuggles.

  
  

Making the Transition Easier

If your child is nearing seven months and you’d like them to learn independent dummy use rather than removing it, consider a dummy boot camp:

• Encourage daytime play with the dummy so they learn to put it in their own mouth.

• Place multiple dummies in their cot for easy access.

• Use glow-in-the-dark dummies to help them find one at night.

• When you are in the room settling place the dummy in their hand rather than straight into their mouth. 

  
  

Most children adjust quickly, and even if they see a younger sibling or cousin with a dummy, they often don’t associate it with their own past use. If they do, gently reinforce the boundary by reminding them why they no longer have one and celebrate that milestone with lots of positivity.